Comm105

In chapter 9 there is a section that talks about different types of arguments.  It reminded of last night when I went to hang out with my friends and his friends for his birthday.  He just turned 21 and I had bought him a few drinks to celebrate.  He did not drink any of them.  He made a promise to his 19 year old girlfriend that he would not drink as long as he was with her.  Her argument was that she is afraid that he will change when he turned 21.  Being that she is his first girlfriend he assured and promised her that he would not.  Here's my point:  I respect that he didn't want to drink.  More for me.  Anyway, the thing that irks me is that he will drop everything just to console and reassure her.  She calls him and texts him on his phone so many times a day that its hard to believe that she can even take care of herself.  Everytime I see him on the phone with her he's always trying to comfort her about something she is upset about.  

It's something new almost everyday.  So instead of letting him spend time with his friends and letting us spend time with him.  She calls him up, and like a good boyfriend, he answers and like usual she is down and depressed and worried about him.  She was worried that he would be drinking and if he was she would be very upset and she would probably throw the whole "You obviously don't love me enough if you can't keep your promises."  

I think its noble to make a promise and keep it.  But this kind of promise may not have any gurantee.  Here's where my authoritative argument came into play, and trust me I have had several arguments based on my experience to try and enlighten him on the subject of relationships.  I've made a lot of promises that I didn't keep.  I have made quite a few mistakes over the years.  I have been right where my friend is right now on more than one occassion.  Everytime I've been in that situation, I have lost my friends.  I was too blinded by love that I treated other people like crap.  The only thing that was important to me was the girl.  Nothing else.  I'm not knocking love, but I think its easy to fall into it.  It's also something that you should be ready for and mature enough for.  Not that anyone ever follows that advice, but what the hell, love makes you do crazy things.  

So, having a few drinks in me already, one can't help but be the philosopher that somehow shows up after two 24oz Modelos.  I tried once again to enlighten my friend about where he should be going in life because he's 21, not in school, and he doesn't do anything else but take care of his girl.  All his friends were there for him but he was not.  I mean he was there, but you know what I mean.  He was in the other room talking to her for about an hour.  I was fed up, and I probably shouldn't have drank so much but then the Motivational speaker in me got on a soapbox and decided to tear him a new one.  I layed into him about his girlfriend and where his life would go if he continued the way he was going.  I didn't tell him to break up with her because I understand that he's in love with her.  But I did tell him that both him and her needed to grow up.  I didn't care that she would worry about him a lot more if he started to go to school.  Her argument was that he would change because there would be other girls there at school.  NO KIDDING.  Give me a break.  What kind of argument is that?

Needles to say, he had an excuse for her behavior, like he always does.  Defending her to the very end.  That's what he does.  He's even told me and his other friends that he trusts her more than he trusts us.  He told us this a week after he started seeing her.  Messed up right?  So why are we still friends?  I can't give up either.

The cool thing was that I was so fired up that it made his other friends get on the same argument and throw in their take on it.  That was good, because I was out of breath and getting dizzy.  

How can you get someone to believe you if they have made up their mind?  Probably something very drastic is necessary in order for that to happen.  I had the experience and the credibility as well as the fire that could drive an argument home.  Looks like love just burns harder.  That poor bastard.  Anyway, how was everyone's day?